U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
