i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
