so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Sext me about skeletons
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
