Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
