sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
