Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
