this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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