I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
