So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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