Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
