bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
