I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
