Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
