Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
