just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
