Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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