So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I am one with the molecules
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
