I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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