Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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