Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
