Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The beer is more important than you right now.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
