So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
