Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
