I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
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