Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
