I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Randomize
