im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
