you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
