Where did you get a picture of my penis
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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