My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
