remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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