I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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