I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
