i think my tv is drunk
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
