actually, I'm a sock model
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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