Umm I'm too high to move.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
