we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
