Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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