you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
