If you die in college, do you die in real life?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
