I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
