Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize