my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Hello my rib-scented angel!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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