Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
