But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
