their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
