Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
