Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
