SEEEEXXX PLEASE
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize