Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
