It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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