Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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