it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
