i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
