I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
