I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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