It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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